When I write this article, I write with a sense of apprehension, some trembling and a whole lot of misgivings. Who am I to decide what the life purpose of an entire category of psychological types is? :-p
Still, this is something that many INFJs might find useful. At the very least it will give you a point of reference to start working from.
So I’ve finally given in to this truly irritating need to share this piece of information. However, as you read this, take in mind that I am writing from my personal opinions and experience, and that I am writing specifically for the INFJs of this world searching for their life purpose.
Ok… after having given enough disclaimers, you may or may not accept what I have to share, but nonetheless here it is.
The Life Purpose of INFJs
If you are an INFJ, I trust that you will know what I mean about the endless and agonizing search for meaning in life. A search for a life purpose that transcends the physical existence of what it means to be a human being and not just another mindless member of the human race.
You have an unrelenting need to be “different”, somehow drawn apart from everyone else. Yet it isn’t a need, but a knowing that you are different. To you, the physical world seems ridiculous and without any lasting significance. In other words, you find the day to day existence and idle chatter of the people around you mundane and “meaningless” in the larger scheme of life and the universe.
While you feel this need to be different, you may also find yourself fighting it just so that you can fit into society. Yet while you fight this need, you still end up being different and weird anyway.
It’s been bugging me why the number of INFJs has been pegged at around 1-2% of the human population. For all I know, it could be more because INFJs can be really good at hiding in plain sight with different groups of people. But still, why such a small number?
Could it be that INFJs are a dying breed because we do not fit into modern society? That psychological preferences that belong to an INFJ are becoming obsolete and useless?
Perhaps if I were to take a larger perspective that everything in life and nature exists for a reason. Could it be that INFJs are needed only in small numbers?
Think a little about this.
In large numbers, INFJs would probably cause the entire mechanism that is based on producing physical goods and services to a grinding halt. The truth is, INFJs don’t function well in repetitive and mechanical environments that separate humanity from spirituality.
When it comes to life purpose, an INFJ is simply not designed to be another cogwheel in the machinery of modern society.
So what then is the Life Purpose of an INFJ?
I dare to say this because it might resonate for some of you INFJs who read this blog.
The life purpose of an INFJ is to be the one who brings hope to others, to bring light into the darkness, to be the ones who gently guide a lost soul back onto the path towards the Light.
Your work is in the intangible and metaphysical world. You intuitively understand psychological processes and intentions of those you come into contact with. Insight into human nature is so blindingly obvious to you that sometimes you are left in amazement that others can’t see what you see.
And because you understand how the human mind reacts to stimuli, you are sometimes left in a bind on how to behave and what to say. Why? Because you do not want your words and actions to be construed as self-serving or manipulation for your own selfish gain.
Your gift is to work with people, to help them for their own highest good. And sometimes, even to your own detriment. But then again, don’t you find yourself submerging your own needs and well-being so that another might be better off instead?
That’s right. You are a dumb, self-sacrificing piece of work who will probably end up on the rubbish dumps of society once you’ve outlived your usefulness.
Yet, your mental operating system seems to be set to wanting the best for others by default. And it’s a pretty damn hard thing to change how you are wired no matter how hard you try, right?
Hard To Fit Into Modern Society
Do you find it almost impossible to fit into modern society where the primary and often sole purpose is to win at all costs?
In a dog-eat-dog world, do you feel that you would be torn apart, chewed up and spat out by those who would use you for their own gain without a second thought?
Do you feel that in order to survive, you need to deny who you are and become someone else?
It’s tough isn’t it?
When I say this, I don’t mean that other psychological types don’t feel the same way. But for INFJs, this same feeling is a deep, intense loathing of being untrue to yourself and an almost insurmountable inner psychological barrier.
While other types are able to set this feeling aside and still function fairly well in society, INFJs who are in touch with their spiritual awareness find it almost debilitating to “kill” their spiritual selves just to fit in.
When you do, you are still rarely able to stay in any job, no matter how “perfect” you may be on the outside. When the work you do is divorced from meaning and purpose, you find it impossible to stay in it for the long term. It’s another reason why so many INFJs jump from job to job, hoping to find their passion and life purpose.
What You Need…
You have a need to do something good for humanity and yet find people too taxing on your senses to tolerate human company for long. It’s a contradiction that is hard to resolve… wanting the good for humanity yet needing the distance from crowds and strangers. But it is so… INFJ…
When it comes to the metaphysical or spiritual world, you revel in it. You are intensely curious about life and life after death. You have this need to discover the metaphysical and spiritual worlds, to find out how they work and how they impact our existence on this planet as physical beings. You are keenly interested in the invisible unseen nature of our existence.
In a world that is driven by science and physical evidence, you may find your true selves displaced. There is no “need” for your work and passion in a world that driven to accumulate more physical wealth, more status and more “stuff”.
While you understand that material stuff is necessary, you find it hard to devote your life to the pursuit of material wealth and material wealth alone.
Oh yes, you can try. You even make several attempts to pursue wealth accumulation. But if I’m correct, you probably find yourself giving up along the way simply because there is no lasting significance in the pursuit of material wealth.
Ideal Positions for INFJs
If you have been searching for what to do with your life, no doubt you have come across several places which say that ideal vocations for INFJs are pastors, psychologists, writers, or anything that has to do with people and helping people. I won’t repeat those vocations here because they are already extensively covered on many other websites.
Of course, you will find INFJs in very different vocations. INFJs have an interesting set of cognitive abilities that allow them to excel in different professions.
But I’m writing this post for the INFJs who are specifically searching for a larger life purpose than just doing a job and going home. I am writing for INFJs who feel their calling to a larger “higher” purpose in life and who find themselves lost in our modern society where there is little room for the spiritual and metaphysical in every day life.
I can’t tell you exactly what you should be doing. Everyone’s situation is different. What’s available to one will not be available to another. What’s needed in one place will be different from somewhere else. As much as I wish there could be a clear and specific answer for you, all I can really share is a direction you need to go.
You need to find a way to express your abilities and drive to help humanity. It is the only way you can find real inner joy and fulfillment. It’s how you fulfill your life purpose.
The Contradiction That Is INFJ Explained
I understand that it’s immensely contradictory for someone who has an almost pathological need for lots of alone time to be involved with helping people. But for an INFJ, it’s just the way it is. In your need to walk both the darkness and the light, you have to find a balance between the pull of both sides.
And in finding that balance of dynamic tension, you come to understand many aspects of human nature that exists in every one of us. In finding yourself, you develop that experience and understanding that allows you deep, almost empathetic insights into human nature. Because of the need to explore your inner world of awareness, you come to know the deepest depths of despair and the highest heights of joy.
In truth, yours is not an easy place to be. In other words, it sucks to be you.
Being an INFJ on the path of spiritual awakening is not an easy calling or a simple path to walk. In the world of the spiritual, it sometimes feel as though you are the trailblazer where you are.
You are the one who has to break the path of the yet unknown to make it known.
You have to walk many inner worlds and feel many intense emotions that may drive others insane. You might even have scared others off with the level of your intensity when it is unleashed.
Your Life Purpose – INFJ
I dare say this. As an INFJ, when you have traveled the inner worlds that you need to walk, you will grow into the person you need to be. In your youth, you may wish that you have not said or done many things that you have. You probably found yourself misunderstood by those around you even though you have done things with the best of intentions.
Most of the times, anyway.
I have to tell you, that misunderstanding is not going to change. You are going to meet a lot of people who are unaware and unawakened. People who are like cavemen in their awareness, others who seek to manipulate with a smile for their own selfish gains, and others who are treasures yet to be discovered.
You need to be clear about your intentions and purpose about working for the highest good of all. Your physical actions may be misunderstood, which is only “normal”. This is simply because people place meanings on your actions based on their own personal beliefs and experience.
As you gain in experience and understanding, you learn the behaviors, words and actions needed to gently guide others onto paths that are for the highest good. I know, it’s very presumptuous to think you know what is the highest good, but you’ll figure out how to deal with it along the way.
In your youth, you are still developing your ability to find that balance between the darkness and the light. You are still trying to comprehend why you are the way you are. Intense emotions and feelings trigger off actions that you do not want to do, yet find yourself doing anyway.
In the life of an INFJ, I would say that’s pretty par for the course.
As you gain understanding and insight, you will learn to differentiate feelings from emotions. And you will learn how to trust your intuition while managing your often overwhelming emotions. Can’t separate the two just yet? Well, it’s part of the learning curve.
It is in the walking of this path that you develop yourself. It is in this path that you gain your almost unbelievable “life wisdom” and spiritual connection that you need just to survive your turbulent youth. It is in the understanding of your own intense, passionate and wildly emotional nature that you come to understand others around you.
If anyone thinks you are unemotional, boring and dull, it’s because they have not gained the trust to be in your inner circle. In other words, they have not proven themselves worthy of access to the innermost thoughts, feelings and core of your being. To let them in is to allow a bull into a china shop, where their thoughtless actions would break too many precious things without them even being aware of it.
It’s not an easy path when you are so open to the thoughts and emotions of others around you. Sensitive without understanding, intuitive without experience. You find yourself wanting to rebel against the unrelenting and hard nature that is this world, where the primary and often only purpose is self gain and survival at the expense of others.
It’s why many INFJs need to find isolation and peace. It isn’t so much that you want to avoid people, but that prolonged exposure to the emotions and actions of others affect you so greatly that sometimes you find yourself exhausted and drowning in emotional tsunamis.
A harsh word that is water off a duck’s back to others can hit you hard and stay with you for days until you learn to clear that inner dissonance from your soul. Yes, you need to learn how to work the inner worlds until you find your balance and harmony again.
As you struggle in the cocoon of inexperience and emotional turbulence, you are developing the strength and abilities you need to help humanity for the moment when you break free of shackles that have been imposed both externally and internally.
In short, your life purpose, as a spiritually awakened and aware INFJ, is to bring light to humanity. To spark off the awareness and understanding of the spiritual dimensions that are part of the heritage of humanity. It’s not an easy path, but it’s your destination and life calling.
It’s often thankless work while you do it, but the effects of your work will continue to resonate even after you have gone home.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
thank you, whoever you are dear one…I am an INFJ….after reading this article I felt that you have scanned me..please write me back. I have given my email id….will be hallowed to hear from you…thank you
I’m glad that you find this article of help to you. Unless you’re an INFJ, it’s quite difficult to understand what another INFJ goes through. It’s always good to know that you’re not the only one of your kind in this world, even though you may not know another in your immediate vicinity.
p.s. I’ve emailed you.
Thank you so much for understanding my heart, my soul and me….
@ Jet: I know it can be really hard on your inner being when you have to walk through this world. I’ve benefited by surrounding myself with good friends who pick me up when I’m down and leave me alone when I need it.
I’ve spent years of my life seeking truth and understanding about this reality that we live in, seeking inner peace and harmony. And I still find it hard-going in the moments when I’m alone. And that’s knowing that I HAVE people who care about me.
A good thing we can do is to surround ourselves with people who are also on the path of compassion and personal growth. I know it isn’t easy to reach out when we’re in a funk, so it helps when you have access to books that encourage you or music that inspires and lifts your spirit.
As much as we prefer our own company, we do NEED good people and good influences in our lives.
p.s. I’m not saying that you don’t, it’s just that I’ve found that these things have helped me lots.
So I posted this video today driven, I believe, by what you’ve described here. Yes, I am an INFJ, and everything you said is true.
http://personalitycafe.com/blogs/lullabyblossom/personal-infj-videos-5836/
@ Lullabyblossom: That’s cos I’m INFJ too.
I believe that developed and courageous INFJs have the capacity to change the world in unbelievable ways. We have an intensity and capacity for wanting to do good that … if we stop to think about it… can scare ourselves into paralysis.
And I think that courage for INFJs is so incredibly tough because we are by nature introverts who love harmony, nature and peace. Plus we also tend to get lots of intuitive insights into other people’s thoughts and emotions, making their dismissal/contempt of our desire to do good even more hurting.
INFJs who step up to help the world are simply incredible people. Yet it can sometimes feel as though these INFJs are an unprotected candle lighting the way in the middle of a windstorm. Precious, fragile and yet so incredibly beautiful in the darkness.
Just a thought…
For the male INFJs, I think the expression “never mistake kindness for weakness” is an apt description of how we sometimes are. We tend to give way until it reaches a point where we say enough is enough. Even though the limit can be stretched quite far, there IS a limit.
That’s when the gloves come off and every option is considered. And I mean EVERY option. That’s when you find out how aggressive, vicious and lethal INFJs will be just to protect themselves and the people they love.
In other words, once you’ve exhausted all the chances an INFJ is willing to give, don’t expect mercy to be given until the issue is resolved to satisfaction.
Surprising? Not really. Not when you realize that the only option left to an INFJ to make sure you NEVER hurt them or their loved ones again is to take you out once and for all.
oh, that was just gorgeous!! Thank for your daring, for drawing out a map of what our lives might look like. I found so many insights from your words, though also more frustration that knowing all this about myself *still* doesn’t make the path much clearer
I’m struck with wanting to share this on FB but realize that I can’t think of any of my friends who will understand it – I seem to draw only extroverts around me =P Besides, it feels a bit too much like I’m bragging about my type =) I will anyway just on a chance that it touches someone.
@ rubelin: Thanks for your comments… I realized that I kind of went on a rambling thingamajig about INFJ stuff. Took the liberty to unapprove my own comment!
The first time I found out I was INFJ and realized that others thought/felt the same way, it was kind of like finding people speaking the same language. I finally felt a sense of gratification and connection with the INFJ community!
It’s a nice feeling to be understood without really having to make myself understood.
:-p
I was just wondering how many other INFJ’s have had problems fitting in with others, especially when you were younger? Did you ever find that others thought you were weird or different? Even as an adult, I still find people who hate me at first sight even though they don’t know me. They will say things like “There is just something about her I can’t stand.” On the other hand, I have people who will gravitate towards me and open up about their personal problems because they instintively know that I am compassionate & will listen. It seems people either love or hate INFJ’s. People who tend to really dislike us I have found are usually the ones who have a questionable integrity & lack of morals. I have a strong sense of right and wrong and it seems like people who lack that sense that about me. They seem to want to get me out of their lives. This has especially been true in work-related situations. Can anyone else relate to this?
@ stacey:
Since no one else has answered, I’ll do my best to answer your questions.
I doubt that INFJs will ever feel they fit in regardless of their age. It’s just that as younger versions of ourselves, we had yet to learn the social norms and behavior of the community we were in.
As for people hating at first sight, it will be true regardless of whether we are INFJ or not. It is impossible for everyone to like us, regardless of our MBTI type. There will always be people who like and others who dislike anybody. Perhaps as INFJs we tend to be a little more aware of other’s people emotions and thoughts, so we tend to be aware of who likes us and who doesn’t.
As someone who is imperfect, I’ve come to understand that “right” and “wrong” are perspectives based on where we stand in the great scheme of things. I’ve shifted from “black” and “white” morality to incorporate shades of grey.
A poor homeless woman who steals from the bakery to feed her starving children. Is she right or wrong? Is that even the question we should be asking?
She is wrong to have stolen from the bakery based on the laws of society, but if she had allowed her children to die from starvation, would that be “right” on the greater stage of life?
What if one of her children would have grown up to champion a cause to alleviate poverty and distribute abundance? But what if one of her children may have grown up to add to the crime and lawlessness of the city’s inner streets?
While we may be able to predict the possibilities and probabilities of what MIGHT happen, the future (as far as I understand it) is never written in stone. Which throws the stand of “right” and “wrong” into further philosophical discussion again.
While there are laws to follow in order to maintain a stable and prosperous society, I believe that as INFJs we are given to a sense of compassion that sees what is “wrong” and still choose to love anyway. This is because we don’t see things in truly black and white, but in more of a global and universal understanding that all things have their place in the great play of Life.
In work related situations, however, the rules of the game are somewhat different. People usually play the game of politics to secure their path to the top and expand their personal empire. This is what usually makes corporate life so distasteful to INFJ as we prefer to build a harmonious community rather than play people off against each other.
I believe it would help if you look at work situations in a different light. There are different rules and goals in a work situation. And if it’s something that you are involved in, it might help to shift into “Sensing/Thinking” mode to complement INFJs natural Intuitive/Feeling mode to deal with situations as they are.
But it’s just my personal view on the matter, so please take what works and drop the rest that don’t.
p.s. And oh yes, I can understand what you mean. Only when there is light, do the creatures of darkness see themselves as they truly are. Which can sometimes bring on a lot of hate.
something changed in me. This time its consistent.
@ chihiro: That’s awesome… I hope that the change is in a good way!!!
I’ve figured out that I’m an INFJ for quite some time, and have read quite amount of materials about it too. But your piece here is somehow, different. It’s like a pat in the back by a good friend
So, really thank you for sharing this
@ Annisa: Thank you too!
Awesome article.
Unbelievable chilling article! It feels so freeing to find someone who finally understand who I really am. It is soooo lonely out there! My focus lately is in finding out what my purpose is and how in the world can I manage to exist in both worlds. I wonder how many INFP feel an uncanny connection to animals and nature as a whole? I cannot help but think that my life purpose is in some way related to the welfare of animals. The spiritual path is a very painful path yet it is the most peaceful and joyous way to go through this earthly existence. Thanks for this info and great to know you are out there as well.
I am so glad you have taken so much time to say these words, with such clarity.
What are INFJs like together?? Do I ever meet them? Have any of you been suddenly aware of their presence when talking? Or is it just too hard to tell because of our inner circle guard? I’ve definitely developed a comedic front to survive, anybody else?
Does our spiritual nature necessarily need religion.? I was brought up in christianity and then neglected it (now that church has closed, guilt!). I have found spirituality and religion to be different. I speak to something, but whether its the christian God or not. I don’t know. Or am I just cementing thoughts to myself. Maybe its best not to question that. But I do love philosophy and ethics.
I should probably mention that I have taken the day off work today because of the effect of this blogsite. I work in a garage as the marketing guy. Can you imagine that? Working for cars and people who love cars and their engineering. I KNOW I’m about to make a terrible choice, ‘yes I’ll take the job, I don’t have much money’, but I do it anyway and the job kills me. Utter turmoil. But recent discovery is taking me toward counselling and I can see a lot more light. Anybody else a counsellor?
@ Juang: Thanks.
@Touvino: Did you mean INFP or INFJ?
And yes, I believe there’s a personal calling for each one of us and that when you know it… you know it.
@ Barry: What are INFJs like together? Well, it really depends on the level of awareness and development. INFJs who are more mature tend to actually be a fun-loving yet extremely supportive group of people when they get together. But if you come across the young ones who are starting out on their journey, they tend to carry a lot of burdens and sometimes aren’t that easy to get along with.
Saying this, everyone is unique. It’s only the INFJ set of cognitive preferences that make the INFJ so unique. Combined with other factors like life experience, family, relationships, etc, every one of us brings a unique perspective to the table.
I think with some practice and understanding of how the INFJ preferences operate, you would be able to tell the INFx from the other MBTI types.
As for religion, I’ve personally experienced Christianity as well. I’d say it has its place in this world, but like you, I’ve come to embrace that spirituality and divinity encompass a larger universe. Religions, while they have their place, tend to define “God” in clear and specific terms that serve a purpose. But how does anyone define Everything?
In my opinion, religions are a way of emphasizing specific aspects and energy of God in a way that is (hopefully) useful to people.
INFJs are natural counsellors though. It’s really easy to see what’s bothering people after a little interaction and then gently guide them to open their minds to other possibilities and perspectives that are more useful. The only thing with being a counsellor is that INFJs are usually very sensitive/intuitive, and many times take the burdens home with them. If you choose to pursue this path, I’d suggest you learn how to “cleanse” your mind and spirit on a regular basis. Otherwise, you may unconsciously carry a lot of other people’s burdens which then affect you on a personal level.
Hi Darbright,
Sorry about that, I meant INFJ. Keep up the good work. We need this type of info on the web.
@ Touvino: Thanks, I can only share my perspective and experiences and hope they are useful for others as well.
So I have known I was an INFJ since last year around this time. Throughout my experiences in life, and in high school, I have found that not many people understand exactly how we are, “who we are”.

I love being able to say to myself, “man, I am part of that 1-2% (I’m a guy) of the population who is like this.” Honestly, I feel as though I am blessed with this personality and sense of being. I truly love talking to people and almost always take on a “counselor” role in my day-to-day life. I often put others before myself just to ensure that they are not suffering unnecessarily. I like to see people happy, what can I say. I’m an Idealist
I met a girl who is INFP a few months ago, and I can say with utmost certainty, that I believe I have found my soul mate
I’m still unsure of what it is that draws us to each other, (considering we live a few hours apart), but I know it is a good thing between us.
I’ve been given an assignment in school where I must give a speech on my “Meaning of Life”. Being an INFJ, I ate this up. I found this article so inspiring, I am actually having trouble condensing everything that I want to say into the mere 5 or so minutes we have to give the speech.
To basically sum up all that I am going to say, I want to leave you all with my own original quote:
“I never want to look back on my life and wonder what ‘could have been’ but rather ‘what it was’.”
I think you read my diary…
Thanks for this…
you have DONE it again!!!! darbright i have no words on this article because it was perfect. although i could apologize for a long comment i wrote your page
i just felt like i had to let it all out since that you understand people so well
@ Smarty:
For all the challenges that being INFJ brings, it’s also an amazing journey, right? We’re usually all about life, meaning, purpose, metaphysical explorations and helping others (in our own unique “INFJ” way).
And yes, INFPs are really amazing people too, aren’t they?
@ John:
LoL.. thanks for leaving the comment. Hope you managed to get something good out of this article.
@ Albert: No worries about the “long” comment. I just had to figure a way to make it easier to read, that’s all. Have a great 2012!
Thanks you so much for your article…I finally found myself! I’ve read alot of the infj articles and yours are the best, and I could truly say, it’s me! Dumb self-sacrificing piece of work….I love it! Thanks!!!:)
you know i read a comment you gave to barry and i also have the same view about religion. it is sad that no one sees what i can see or feel what i can when the people of the church thinks that I HAVE to be on their group to spiritualy grow!
that is not true in my oppinion and i do believe it has its place on this earth but i dont think it is necessary to understand spiritualism, spiritualism is more than to look at god is more than to look at your self on the mirror it takes to understand the possibilities of life and inner focus and many more for example the comment you wrote about a woman steals food to feed their kids, in my opinion i look at it good instead very good because of the good reason behind her acts.
if i had that woman steal from me i would be mad at her but next time i would see her i will ask her why instead of yelling at her like many people would do because INFJ has this view that everything happens for a reason! therefore as soon as i know her situation i would forgive her and help her in some was as well, maybe to work with me for a time or send her to a friend that needs people bottom line is to do good… beside even the bible says not to hate a man if he steal to satisfied his soul…
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