Dealing With Perfectionism

by Darbright on July 12, 2011

The problem with being a perfectionist is the need to have things perfect even though what you have is already good enough. When you want to be perfect for the sake of perfection, it becomes a very ineffective way to move forward to your goals. Perfectionism can be huge reason why you get stuck where you are instead of achieving the results that you want to achieve.

Perfectionism usually isn’t the root cause of your inability to get results. More often than not, perfectionism comes from fear. The fear that you’re not good enough, the fear of failing, the fear of success, the fear of being laughed at. There are a myriad number of reasons why you may be prone to the symptom of perfectionism.

However since only you will ever know the true reason for wanting to be “perfect”, I’m not going to address this issue. It’s a psychological issue that is rooted in your beliefs or experiences. If you journal often enough and are honest enough with yourself, you may eventually uncover the reason for your need to be perfect.

More importantly though, regardless of the reason, you will need to move past this barrier of perfectionism. Especially if you want results.

Getting Results By Playing The Game

One of the things that I’ve learnt from playing sports over the years is that no matter how good you are, there will always be days when some things just don’t go right. And as a professional athlete, one of the things that you will discover is that rarely does any of the top players in the world go into a tournament 100% fit and healthy.

Most of the times, you will be carrying some form of niggling injury or fatigue from the last tournament. Your emotional and psychological state before stepping onto the court or field may sometimes be off where you want to be.

Since I play the game of tennis, let’s use it as an example to illustrate what I mean.

It could be a new environment where you have yet to fully adjust to the courts, the bounce of the ball, windy conditions, lighting, noises in the crowd or maybe one of your shoes just doesn’t feel fully comfortable.

Some days, you may be experiencing tiredness or aches in your legs. Your racket may feel a little off in its balance. The strings just don’t feel 100% right.

There’s always something that needs to be dealt with.

The most important thing that you can do is to play to win anyway. Find a way to navigate these obstacles and win the game.

It’s about dealing with whatever the day or moment throws up at you. These distractions are just that… distractions. You need to keep your eyes and mind on winning the game. You need to bring yourself to a state of relaxed focus to give everything you’ve got when it’s needed.

That’s how you’re going to win and win consistently on the court. Not always, but far more often than you normally would.

How This Relates to Real Life…

There are days when you just don’t feel 100% in the mornings when you wake up. It could be a late night out with friends, fatigue from catching up on the latest reports, or some personal issues that crop up unexpectedly.

When you get to the office, you find that you may have to settle some relational issues between colleagues or staff. Perhaps the air conditioner doesn’t work. Or some last minute information pops up that requires you to rethink your presentation or proposal to your clients.

You know it’s not always that you get to experience clarity of mind in the mornings, having events flow smoothly from one to the other and having the results that you desire fall into your lap with little to no effort.

There are some times when you just need to grit your teeth, pull yourself together and push on through whatever things that the day may throw up at you. Of course, if you are experience more than the normal inconveniences for far too long, then you have to question the systems and people that are in your work place.

But other than that, it’s about dealing with things as it is to get the result that you want.

Supreme athletes have the ability to get into the “zone” where they block out all other distractions and focus on playing the game. It’s this ability that allows them to almost effortless glide through games and handle critical moments. It’s this ability that allows them to fully be in the present moment and have a relaxed focus to play the game the way the game needs to be played in that moment.

When you want to reach your goals, there will be days that nothing seems to go right. But more often than not, it’s a test of your determination, discipline and focus to play through the inconveniences.

Playing The Game of Life

It’s a game. It’s all a game in the great game of life. You still have to decide which game you want to play but when you have, your mindset has to change from spectator, incompetent or whiny player, to that of a professional. You need to deal with the moment as it is and keep your eyes on the prize.

You may not always win the day. But more importantly, when you are able to play the game of life with a relaxed focus to deal with whatever the moment may throw at  you, you’ll be able to win the war.

When you realize that nothing is ever going to be perfect all the time, it’s just a matter of knowing when what you have is enough to win the day. And if it isn’t enough, it’s about dealing with things on the fly while scrapping and crawling to the finish line.

To play the right game, setting goals that resonate with you is important. But once you’ve decided the game that you’re playing, it’s all about character development and personal growth to achieving the results you want.

Nothing will ever be 100% perfect every single time.

The victory will be so much the sweeter for the fight that you have been through. It’s not only about the goals that you accomplish, but the kind of man or woman that you become for the journey that you have taken.

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